Not Breaking Any Records

I'm not breaking any records for my consistency quite yet, but this is still a good start.
More Casey Baker, bringing more self-truths to light. When I listen to music, I feel it and I use it to think about many things: life, myself (who doesn't like thinking about themselves?), my friends, school, well, less school than other things.
It's at these times that I can feel my most intense feelings. And late at night, when I'm listening to this music I feel my most intense loneliness. Tonight I thought about my husband. I thought about how badly I miss just being able to see his face, to tell him about how I'm really feeling. I have many friends here, and I care for them deeply, but I'm the type of person who has trouble trusting other people, especially with my personal feelings. I guess I think if people don't know certain things about me, they can't use them to hurt me later. That may seem rather insecure of me, but it's how I function. I don't tell a lot of people about my true feelings. I'm sure that other people don't always tell me the truth either. Of course, it's not so much that I lie. I don't like to lie. Rather, I hold so much back that sometimes I think people don't really know or care for my opinion at all. Doesn't everyone just want someone to ask them what they really think of something? I would like it if someone asked me that. "What do you truly think of so-and-so's relationship with other so-and-so?" Do people ask you those kinds of things?
Even if someone did ask me that, I would probably evade an answer unless I was close enough with them. To me, friends are people you can trust with nearly anything. I say nearly because not everyone needs to know everything. There are some things that are better off being no one's business.
Sometimes it feels like no one is listening. Even worse, sometimes it feels like no one cares to listen. People will go about their lives around you, they will go through their daily grind without even remember that you exist. And when you try to prove your existence to them by sharing your thoughts and feelings with them, they only seem interested in themselves and their own problems, or they pretend to be interested in what you're saying while they're actually planning out the rest of their day in their head or imagining you naked.